Tom Waits - “Anywhere I Lay My Head”
Goodnight, Paris. We had a good thing going, but tomorrow I’ll be gone.
Tom Waits - “Anywhere I Lay My Head”
Goodnight, Paris. We had a good thing going, but tomorrow I’ll be gone.
Just a brief update -
The 14th was Bastille day - fun, but not as crazy as I had hoped. For whatever reason, unlike during La Fête de la Musique (a much smaller holiday, as I understood it) the Metro didn’t stay open all night - or even any later than usual! Très bizarre!
So I went out to dinner, met up with some of the other program alumni to watch the fireworks at Le Tour Eiffel (spectacular!) reminisced a bit, and called it a night.
I’m currently in the world’s smallest hostel in Amsterdam, The Netherlands. Yesterday, I went to the van Gogh Museum, which I really loved. Today I’m going to the Heineken Factory with my ex-roommate and his brother - I expect to Augustus Gloop myself to death. If not, I’ll see you cats… tomorrow?
A lot has happened since last time!
The program is over at this point - sad, but kind of a relief. I managed not to murder my GPA, so, there’s that. And my French is really quite a lot better than when I started - now I’m somewhere around the preschool level!
It was sad to see everyone go. It’s funny how close people get to each other when they have no other choice. The program was full of great people, and we (for the most part) wholeheartedly enjoyed each other’s company. But fortunately most of us will be back at the U of A next year.
On Saturday night, I went to a jazz club I’ve been meaning to try - Le Baiser Salé (“The Salty Kiss”). It was amazing. The place is located in the little red-light district around Chatelet, on a little strip of bars sandwiched between strip clubs and kebab shops, and the stage itself is more or less a converted attic with some chairs haphazardly thrown in. But the band played some of the best live jazz I’ve ever heard. These were professionals.
And the bassist looked like my old Philosophy of Mind professor, without the dreadlocks (somehow, that seems like it ought to be the other way around…)
Sunday I wandered around le Marché aux Puces de Saint-Ouen (Marché aux Puces literally translates as “market of the fleas”) - basically I spent the whole time admiring various Maghrebi pride T-Shirts and trying not to get stabbed. Ate a damn fine kebab, though!
Today, I went to the Centre Pompidou - the modern art museum. Spent a great deal of time trying to make heads or tails of the feminist art exhibit which populates the entire first floor, which is, I suspect, what everyone else was trying to do as well. As I was standing in a room entitled “Genital Panic” a grey-haired American gentleman walked into the room, and (confronted with a giant, woven, three-dimentional representation of a somehwhat controversial part of the female anatomy) was only able to blurt out “Oh my goodness!” - but the phrase was imbued with such good-natured, goofy equanimity that it retained only vestigal signs of shock.
I guess that’s more or less how I felt.
But the Kandinsky exhibit was fantastic!
Tomorrow is Bastille Day. If it’s anything like La Fête de la Musique, I’ll have the pleasure of witnessing several small riots.
Good times!
“You men eat your dinner, eat your pork and beans,
I eat more chicken any man ever seen!”
- Howlin’ Wolf, “Backdoor Man”
Mme. de Sars is out of town for the weekend, so Jerris and I were on our own for dinner, tonight. Typically, when Mme. is out, she makes some sort of under-the-table arrangement with a nearby Chinese place to feed us and send her the bill.
This, is needless to say, awesome. Especially as the food at this joint is amongst the best Chinese food I have ever eaten. Chinese food is different here than it is in the States. Were I restricted to but a single adjective, I would probably select… saucy. This is saucy Chinese, my friends, and it is good.
However, this option was not available to us tonight, on account that almost everything is closed on Sundays. But not the rotisserie chicken place.
So we went!
This is probably of little significance to anyone reading this. But understand that Jerris, my roommate, has fallen prey to an absolute obsession with eating an entire rotisserie chicken. Every day, on the way to school, we pass the chicken stand, just as it opens. The smell of heavily seasoned chicken - fat dripping into the pans below, sizzling and cracking like an electrical storm - wafts down the street, tempting still-weary commuters. And every day, he says to me, “Maybe today is the day I eat an entire chicken!”
Today was the day. And damn! it was good.
OPENING CEREMONIES
The temperature in the sleep-deprivation chamber you call an apartment will not dip beneath 28°C until several hours after midnight. Go out and drink.
SPEED
No known sound is more irritating than the tone of your alarm clock, which operates at a frequency apparently capable of liquefying the human brain. Disable/destroy it before you are rendered a vegetable. Do not throw up.
MARKSMANSHIP
Your legs are rubber. Your eyes are glued shut. Nevertheless: urinate! Bring a watch; set some record times. Go get ‘em, Eagle Eye!
Do not throw up.
GYMNASTICS
Take a shower. This is not optional - you have spent the last four hours basting in your own sweat. Struggle vainly to find purchase on indifferent porcelain and adopt several avant-garde positions as you maneuver the detachable showerhead. Points are assigned based upon difficulty of routine as well as fluidity of execution, so consider washing your feet. Do not fall down. Do not throw up.
AGILITY (TEAM EVENT)
The elevator is broken (again). Roommate in tow, run seven flights down a spiral staircase. Do not collide with the repairman. Do not indirectly cause the death of your roommate. Do not throw up.
ENDURANCE
School is only a 30-minute metro ride away! The train car is overflowing with sweaty, surly Parisians. It’s 30°C and air conditioning is, quite literally, a foreign concept. The car is so humid that it has its own water cycle.
Take a moment to enjoy the smell! Imagine leaving a dead dog in the street for three or four days, in full sunlight. Don’t forget to water it daily! Now, peel it off, marinate it in movie-popcorn grease, and pan fry it to perfection (with just a little garlic)! The resulting smell is probably nothing like the smell of the metro, but I think I’d prefer it.
Now get to business. Exhibit no mercy; throw elbows before you cede that bench seat to orphans, nuns, or the elderly. Do not fall over as the train shudders to a stop or starts without warning.
Do not throw up.
CLOSING CEREMONIES
Throw up.